Realizing My Dream
Now, I’ve not done myself any favors here. I’ve waited to write this for weeks, months in some cases, after eating at these restaurants. I’ll be better next time. But I think I’ll still likely compile my experiences. So. Here we go. I’m going to realize my dream of becoming a food critic.
Michael always nags me to write Yelp reviews. I couldn’t tell you why I don’t write them. Well. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to upset anyone. I’m going to not be super nice here. Just honest. And I hope if you’re in DC (or wherever I am next), you are able to find some nuggets of helpful information.
Capitol Hill Spots
Beuchert’s Saloon
OH MY GOD. I’ve said it before (on instagram) and I’ll say it again, we are DISTRAUGHT that we just found this place! We’ve lived in Capitol Hill for almost 2 years and this is by far our favorite restaurant on the Hill. Located in a small, nondescript storefront on Pennsylvania Ave SE, Beuchert’s has a history you can only find in DC with southern hospitality and New Orleans charm (at least, some of the food and cocktails have that feel - like the frozen boozy Irish coffee inspired by Cafe du Monde). You must stop in for a drink and a bite, at least. We first ventured in for brunch. I won’t be covering that here, but I would highly suggest it. The shrimp and grits were on another level.
So we brought my Mom for dinner about six weeks ago in April. It was a beautiful night, so we opted to sit in the back patio. I ordered a cocktail to start, while Michael and my mom opted for a bottle of wine (from the Canary Islands - our server suggested it and she was spot on). Half off bottles of wine and $10 cheese boards on Wednesday’s … not their only amazing happy hour deal. Ok. For what we ate: everything on the menu. JK. But it felt like that.
Foraged Mushrooms with vanilla ricotta, radish, fiddlehead ferns, and toasted shallots.
Sea Scallop Crudo with smoked honey, chilies, grapefruit, bitter greens, benne seeds, and pickled onions.
Crayfish Tortelloni with sauce Americaine, sweet peas, Thai chilies, lemon, and sunflower shoots
Bucatini with dry aged pork ragu, Asiago cheese, green onions, and olive oil
Pan Roasted Sea Scallops with lentils, plum sauce, radish, kimchi, and blue
Barramundi with hazelnut cream, cashew butter, and asparagus
Seared Foïe Gras with plum butter, sponge cake, lime powder, and sour onions
Coffee Roasted Pork Belly with poached cranberries, sweet potatoes, Brussels petals, and brown butter jus
Bison Strip Loin with whey poached turnips, kimchi, forgotten rice, and garlic jus
We finished the meal with chocolate coated butter cream. Wowzas. Just remembering all that food makes me full. My favorite was hands down the barramundi followed by the bison and foie gras (I’m a sucker for foie gras). I wish I could adequately explain how amazing each dish was, but like I said - I fucked up. April 18th was a long time ago. What I will say for Beuchert’s - the menu sounds good, the food looks good, and you are not let down. Oh. Insanely incredible service. A million thumbs up.
Hank’s on the Hill
I’ve only been here twice. Both times for happy hour. Pretty self explanatory. Decent deals for yummy oysters (I don’t have a discerning palate for oysters. I’ll work on it). I loooove lobster rolls, so the lobster sliders are a must for me. Good, buttery brioche rolls and fabulous French fries. Friendly service, I’ve not been disappointed yet. I wouldn’t turn you away!
Navy Yard
Ana at District Winery
This one is a bit of a bummer to write because I really wanted to love it. To be fair, I had already been warned by a friend about the food. Sad face.
District Winery is a beautiful new addition to Navy Yard. I had never been, not even for wine (gasp!). With a perfect location, sooo much outdoor patio space (I love drinking outdoors), and a very intriguing menu, it was an easy suggestion to try with my Mom and my future step-sister-in-law, also Paige. I know. I eat with my Mom a lot. It’s what we do. We had a special to start… I think it was a toast with strawberries, burrata, and prosciutto. Not bad. We also shared the kampachi crudo which comes with rhubarb ponzu, shiso, lime, and nori mustard. We all enjoyed this. It was colorful and refreshing.
The trouble was our mains. Paige opted for the Market Vegetable Shawarma at the suggestion of our server. I’m not a vegetarian, so it looked meh to me. One of the spring vegetables was just like a huge leek or onion or something (idk, I wasn’t eating it). My Mom got the best entree, in my opinion — which is what matters here HA! She got the Celery Root and Grayson Cappalletti. Soooo pasta with rabbit sausage and butter. Maybe I was just super hungry (and this was supposed to be my cheat meal for the week), but this had the flavors I was hoping for. My dish was the Roasted Monkfish with braised artichokes, fava bean tortellini (there were only 2 pieces), and artichoke tea. It was light and boring. And I love monkfish. I wasn’t mad, just disappointed. … is that worse??
I will absolutely be back. But probably just to drink and not spend Navy Yard prices for mediocre food. Sorry. Ah that feels so mean to say. This food critic stuff is tough!!
Wild, Wild Northwest
Hazel
I was surprised when my boyfriend told me he was at Hazel when I was meeting him 45 minutes before we saw Infinity War (OMG THAT MOVIE). I had bought us tickets for the Monday night showing because we are idiots and didn’t get tickets for opening weekend in advance. We went to one of our favorite DC theatres - Landmark Atlantic Plumbing Cinema. Next door to 9:30 Club and close to another household favorite, American Ice Company. Anyway. It was a nice treat. We downed some happy hour red wine at the bar and tried a few plates. Thanks to our bartenders for getting us to the movie in time! We had: steak tartare with tater tots, egg yolk, watercress, and caramelized onion dip; rabbit Waldorf salad (it’s not on the menu right now so I don’t remember the details, but this was my favorite); and wild red shrimp with marinated beets, peanut crunch, passila chiles, and parsley. All fun and creative. All tasty. Would definitely go back when we are not rushed after work racing to see the most anticipated movie of the year (so far, in my book).
OK! So that’s my shitty first attempt at being a food critic. I swear I’ll get better. I’ll write my thoughts on mouth feel and acidity and balance and seasoning as I’m eating from now on. Or directly after. Bottom line: DC restaurants are stepping their games up. If you’re coming to visit and want suggestions, let me know. OR! If you’ve been and have suggestions for me, please let me know! I will never let you go to Founding Farmers and will do my best to point you in the direction of something fun and special. Sorry. I’m a snob. A snob that loves Outback Cheese Fries.
